Travis speaks
Both speak
Cosi speaks
funny voices are indicated with changed fonts, bolds and/&or italics
"Oops All Verses" a mix by Gabriel Coleman plays

freewrite box.
- payday
- shopping
- acuity
- gambling
- filling
- sweet nibs (ness)
- A quick come up
- Perfect timing
- Time going slower than you expect it
- exploration
- pure sense
- loss of body consciousness
- feeling good
- feeling like a kid
- sensitivity
- Go to the store
- From bed
- Estimated times
- Pizza delivery
- Fees!
Just FUCK me
Just MARRY me
No small talk BS
Discovering my body
Once I get over my insecurities, it's over for you hoes
Once I get that yoga-toe stretcher thing, it's over for you toes

When the nuclear missile heading directly towards us hits, it’s over for you hoes (gesturing at audience)
Don't you understand, this is how I *want* to be.
you know deep deep down inside the really fucked up thing is deep down so inside I know I'm fine I'm pretty good and no self help or encouragement or cheering is going to replace or do better than what I can do for myself.
if awt is how you decahrate space.....then how you decahrate toime...
and that...
hit me hawd
-- @lisalipz85 on Tiktok
*potential pie to the face*
its hard to internalize a compliment because people tell you like what they think you've already been told. for me, people tell me----not enough people are telling me ----

the last compliment i really internalized was from HOT ****** themself.
floated on cloud 9 after that, and thankfully there was another cloud to pick me up
Voss water snob
the trash keeps piling up and i still don't know where it goes
luxury is taking more than what you need. like how kings used to be the only people who were allowed to live fully delusional lives, now
it doesn't matter how you live as long as you remember it well, and take lots of good photographs. all you have are your memories. the truth doesn't matter, because there is no real reality. everyone is experiencing it through their own filters of prejudice
relationship significance: how much of it was genuine and how much of it was me just hyping them up when we weren't together

that's why they call it the OBJECT of your AFFECTION bcuz u finally get an object to channel all of ur crazy projections onto

but then what else is there
is that all there is to love

a watched pot never boils (just like my ex-husband's WIENER!) but what else are you supposed to do when you're making pasta ohhhhhhhh
my fantasy of death is just pass out like a light switch at my computer
not treat, it's a habit.
Huh, I mean—yeah oh—we know..I mean I guess I'm struggling with the fact that all know the rules—right?
influences: nintendo music, steve reich, pina bausch, the simpsons, spongebob, laurie anderson
"saying how you feel will never ruin a real connection"


if i stop eating now. i’ll have leftovers, but i have to put them away. and if i eat now then i get to keep eating
Better off with[out] you! No one's going to chase my lonely heart, so why I just keep it to myself.
I think I'm just using you for sex.
but what i really want?
is to ***.
so i don't have to want any more. if only it weren't so damn not easy
And now that that's done. I want nothing to do with the old me, the wrong me, the me that never was and never will be.
Things people who are training for marathons shouldn’t have for dinner: two dirty martinis, gummy bears, a scoop of peanut butter and a Marlboro light
what can i say? was i on a bender?
no. was i on a path of self destruction, leading me right into the abyss of ruin? let's just say i wasn't making all the right choices.
!!! Pulling the devil card !!!
True love is never coming fast enough
I’m always told I have to wait to let the right one in
good things come on those who wait
patience patience
sometimes when you’re looking you can’t see what’s right in front of you
and that I definitely though because I’m texting this right now and I can only see what matters which is the sidewalk and it sort of feels like on the footheels of time ticking, there’s always a wedding, always a car driving along the footpath. a perpetual

special occasion unfolding in between every frail fiber of repeated histories and long walks home.

is every single beating heart I’ve held under guardianship been in earnest or was it a slinky web of my own projections growing soggy in the palm of my own hand
Travis enters, head down. Cosi voiceover as Dan Castellaneta as the radio host on Parks and Rec
but, despite all that, there still comes a time in the night, some nights, but not every night.

where i hopscotch down whatever grid i've got tapping and double-tapping and woofing and bing-bonging

a time in the night when i would take ~anyone~ and i throw caution to the wind, the contracts i made with myself out the window, and let my standards down the drain and let myself become the desparate flirt that I know I am. in the best of times, i promise myself that if someone misses their chance, then they missed their chance...until I give them another, and another, and another. It works often enough to make it worth the trouble...


I was hired on this case to find out who killed a woman's husband. Time was not on my side.
~i didn't kill my husband~ she pleaded. If I could prove it wasn't her by the Tuesday probate deadline, she offered me a 2% cut of his milk fortune...
the prime suspect was a leggy taxi dispatcher he was seeing on the side. I called her right up.
can i get a taxi tonight from my place in west terrace to the to the skip hop jump jazz joint downtown?
i never heard of a skip hop jump jazz joint downtown.
you wouldn't, it's a hidden spot in the basement of georgette
say, you wouldn't happen to be free?
it's a date. id never seen gam's like hers before. the music was good, and the bartenders all knew i liked a fistful of maraschino cherries in my club soda.
you know, they got some pretty good tunes in this fag joint.
i'll tell ya, it was like she was income and i was taxes. all numbers and percentages to her lump sum.

besides someone shushing us all night, we had a pretty good time. i spent my last 4 dollars to get the marshmallow platter special so I had an hour long walk home ahead of me.
So you taking the bus back to west terrace?
I didn't even know there was a bus, until her.
Yeah if you catch the select service it goes real fast, and after 10, you can ask the bus driver to drop you off anywhere along the route, as long as they think it's safe...and they always do.

as we rode the bus i thought about how she was the cool kind of person i thought i'd grow up to be, until i realized i was born a nerd and always will be one.

she invited me up to her place and we patty caked all night long...when i woke up she was gone, before I had the chance to ask her about murdering that dude. But I didn't care. I just went back to my bed.
I tell myself "if it's meant to be it will be" when I really know it's never going to happen again. It's done.
on sEcoND thougHT!


if i give you details, if i tell you about how i am doing and you tell me,

or you just just a response, that is not satisfying, that is not what i'm looking for, that is not what i need from you.!!!

oh but travis, you're not so good of a texter yourself sometimes...
(C) searching for woes, and I'm (Am) coming up (Dm) empty (C) Don't even know if I (Am) have a twenty point list of things, that I'd want to change if I had the time.
There are some good compliments, and when I get them I'm floating on a cloud after that, and hopefully another cloud-compliment comes to pick me up before I fall off that one.
We are only as resolute as our contradictions. Only as strong as our worst hypocrisy

Waiting: the most unacceptable part of life.

ANY INCONVENIENCE IS AN INCONVENIENCE. And well then I'm compromising, and if I'm compromising I better get what I want.

A smile goes a long way. A stranger is just a friend you haven't met
Because "the customer is always right, in matters of taste"
I think I have found all that I'm looking for. And I'm going to get it. Just FUCK me. Just MARRY me.
Much like in some cultures slurping your food is a sign that it’s tasty, making sucky suck sounds with a penis is a way of signaling your enjoyment of that good gluck gluck hyuck hyuck nancy reagan 9000!
I just love living in the moment. Even though sometimes you have to stop living in the moment to figure out your weekend plans. Thankfully I've lived in vast majority of moments that I can recall. It's the best place to be. Being Me. This is me when I me! Me, when I me. I know I have nothing to. No plans. Just sunshine. Wait. What's this? An intrusive thought. I feel upset, but I don't remember why... did someone say they're mad at me? Or is this about some incident? A recent rejection? I'm just trying to be present in the physical body. And be happy. With My Self. This moment. 'cause I'm living in it. The mind the body the heart these metaphorical apparati of the self are not always working in tandem. And they don't have to be! Someone once told me no attainment is attainment. I was like, Excuse me?
And another thing: I don't know about *your* orgasms but but mine are...after I nut, a clarity washes over me. It's like, how did I get here? This is not my beautiful twink! Everything I've said and done leading up to that moment needs to be reconsidered. Not always regretted, but maybe I wasn't of sound mind and body. I said "I think we have a really strong connection", not because it was true, but because i wanted to hear it said back to me. The creams don't always justify the means. I can feel worse after I get what I want. BECAUSE THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO ... WANT. Can I get a so true bestie?
Travis and Cosi tap on phones, turns to shake—the stage fills with haze from the "phones" filled with baby powder.
ANRI's I can't stop the loneliness

What are your pronouns

Softer clubbing music
- you know that feeling when your estimate is exactly correct
- that feeling of a cool breeze on a hot summer day
- a surprise discount, applied at checkout
- receiving authentic recognition, for a job well done
- ripping off a scab to find perfectly healed skin underneath
- finding a new way to crack your knuckles or your elbow or knee / a new leaf on your house plant
- when you overhear some juicy drama at a restaurant or bar
- when you reject the things you cannot accept*
- when you reject the things you cannot change*
- when you reject the difference
that's amore!
Guten Abend, Freunde und Liebhaber. Willkommen zum das sofortivergnügen. Good evening, friends and lovers. Welcome to The Instant Pleasure. Als nächstes werden wir Steve Reichs Klatschmusik aufführen. Up next we will perform, steve reich's clapping music.
But on butts. 18x
1. cosi puts a cigarette in their mouth
2. travis pulls out the ciggie.
3. cosimo gasps
You can't smoke indoors!
Since when? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
How about this: you could have one marshmallow right now, or Cosimo if you can wait until the end of the performance you can have two marshmallows, and the whole audience can also have one marshmallow each. but only if you wait. What should they do?
Can I call my therapist?
"haven't you had enough?" I say to myself. If I stop right now, there will be something left over. I will gain experience in willpower. Experience points. I might level up, or some call it maturing. Self-control is a emotional muscle that needs to grow and build and get stronger, it is not a rubber band or a tendon that stretches and pulls until it snaps. That would be ridiculous, that would mean that you are not in control. That some things aren't your fault—but everything is.
wahh wahh, boo hoo. i can't get what i want x4
[to the audience] all together!
wahh wahh, boo hoo. i can't get what i want x3
1 - cry
2 - cry
3 - arms out turn
4 - arms out turn
5 - arms up
6 - cross
7 - kick back
8 - kick forward
What's that famous quote: if you go home with someone and they don't have:

- a copy of laurie anderson's big science
- some of those high-heeled feet
- if you don't see any of those baggy pants?

Don't have sex with them!
i really have to wonder, every time i take a pill,
what happens if i take...

more than what i am supposed to?

is this the same thing as taking drugs? maybe...actually YES

but these are good drugs
but if they're good how come i don't feel as good as the bad drugs

the only difference between doxycycline and MDMA is...a good time!
So true bestie. It's like Lana Del Rey said: "Myself is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to be. But everyone else is already taken"
Travis and Cosi huddle and whisper secrets, then over the left shoulder to say...
We’re asking ourselves the age old question of sex. what does it feel like?
Lip trill walking back to the mics
TONIGHT FOR DINNER OBVIOUSLY WE WENT TO GEORGETTE, it's so FUCKING GOOD. if you're a new yorker who HASNT been to this chic soho spot you should GET OFF THE STAGE AND NEVER SING AGAIN.
Here's what you need to know. I ordered the fettuccine alfredo and even though I got the hiccups from eating it so quickly I had a great time. My tip is if you fight over the bill then no one has to pay.
Nothing makes me hornier than garlic bread and my secret tip is that if you stash some of the rolls from the beginning of the meal, order the Bucatini with Lemon-Caper Sauce, then you can dip the bread into the oil from the sauce and it's nearly the same as fresh garlic bread from the oven.
Getting a reservation is nearly impossible but if you go to and enter my promo code [sound cue] you'll receive a number in the mail that you can call which will be my number. and then i'll call them and set you up with a reservation in maybe a month.
It's a lot of work, but definitely worth it. Make sure you save room for Marsh-mellow Platter.
cosi faces upstage in chicago pose
cosi turns around waterfall arms
i am so hungry. and this is new york, where you need plates on the back and the front of ya car. and you've gotta dance for your dinner—and let me tell ya. i'm dancing as fast as i can ! i'm dancing as fast as i can !!
there's only one currency in the world that matters and that's trouble. even when you have the money, for whatever you want there's always trouble. So I just rationalize work is a conduit for getting the things that I want: enlightenment being the paramount and validation the secondary.
Just to piggyback off your earlier comment. I'd like to echo what you said, but a little more spicy. And this is just my opinion: there's only two types of jobs in this world: talking jobs or building jobs. And the funny thing is, when you're an LGBT, or an LGBTQ you already have a full-time job. And that's being gay. So in conclusion I would just like to say....
the two of us are competing to see who can say all their bottled up outpourings of love first without it sounding corny, and because summer is on the way, it sort of feels like a trap. if i tell you how much i love you now, will i suddenly be the one who has to do all the work?

listen, I really want to tell you how I'm feeling
but I don't want it to sound like--
I guess I don't want it to come across as...

you know what forget it
being apart can be a really good thing
so let's just see how this goes

no matter how much I may feel it, how sick with anticipation I get, there's still the phenomenon of waking up in the morning, and thinking is this as good as it gets. is it fulfilling me the way that it should.
by merely asking that question, it is its own answer.

if it was giving me LIFE i wouldn't have to ask.

how much of this relationship is genuine and how much of it is me hyping up my partner when we're not together

i guess that's why they call it the OBJECT of your AFFECTION bcuz u finally get an object to channel all of ur projections onto
Fairy Fountain

Crack knuckles. Massage.
My trouble is that I really am just fucking the text man for texts. Eating, breathing, sleeping—or staying awake late at night, for texts. I respond to texts as soon as I get them, in hopes of getting another back quick. I am living for texts, exercising for texts, sucking dick and cock for texts! Texting for texts. But I'm not talking about all texts. I'm talking about texts from special someones. I'm so eager, for those texts. Waiting for more texts.
ive been waiting a looooong time for... this club to let me in. the test results to come back. the subway to come. waiting to to find the right time to tell you how i feel. to really feel that i have moved on. for you to make a move because you are just so hard to read and i am sending you all the signals.
You know what...Gratitude gratitude gratitude, the answer to everything is gratitude. I made a list of all the things that I am grateful for! And number one on that list: water. I don't drink water. I Hate it!
old me would never complete a survey
old me would never
old me will never
Three Stooges Thump
Hey, i think we should talk later
yeah, so I'm really not happy with our relationship, and think I need some space to figure it out.
And maybe I don't think I want us to have a relationship.

Could you give me like a week, just to think? I may need more so don't expect to hear from me soon, but I want to give myself a week to think and really let my thoughts ruminate.

Please, until I reach out, don't text me or call me. Or respond to anything I put online

Just give me some time to think about if i want you in my life or if i don't

And if you can't resist, i'll know you're actually worse than I ever thought you were because you didn't respect my boundaries.

From 11:11 to 14:25
hey wanna come over and fuck me the ass and eat my pussy and slurp my cum—stan LOONA and do my dishes? Call my senator and ride me harder than mechanical bull at the county fair.
Will the other member of your party be joining you soon?
OK, well here's your table, and your waiter will be over shortly.
wait. can you take my order?
Politely put puppet away
Hey, welcome to Georgette, I'm Travis and I'll be taking care of you tonight. What can I get started for you?
Just a plate of marshmallows for me!
So sorry we're actually all out of the marshmallows
OK. What can you get to me, quickly?
The Special
I'll take it. And I'll go to the restroom so perhaps when I come back, the food will be here, and it'll be as if I never even waited at all.
Go piss girl.
It's not that i've forgotten but i just don't always consider how possibility and disappointment often live side by side.
well well well
if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions?

consequences! consequences! consequences! a consequence...I don’t know…? we don’t ALWAYS know the consequences of our actions
everything I’ve done, I’ve done it for the reward!
and the more instantaneous the better

think….before you act. i’ve been told

there's only one currency in the world that matters and that's trouble. for one can have all the capital in the world but for whatever you need, there's always trouble.
Okay tell me now or I'll throw up
I want to tell you about my crush. His name is George, and he looks exactly like me.

We have met and had a conversation only once but that was enough for me. And trust me I know for a fact I know that it's never gonna happen. I know that and I've resigned to that fate but I don't care! Is that going to stop me from interacting with every single one of his selfies replying to every single story post finally finally i found another hot gay person who understands all of my obscure references. It makes me feel like I'm in 6th grade and I have my second of one million crushes.

The one day a year he likes and comments on one of my posts is arguably the best day of my life.

But that's my crush and I'm his reply guy. I love being his reply guy. I hope he relies on me I hope I'm his rely guy
and guess what? I love him!
I really do love him so much like I have an investment in his happiness. I love to see him happy. Not only do I love him i love where I am in his life, constantly on the fringe tugging at the frail fabric of the parasocial relationship that I'VE built over the last two years since I've known him so let me just say this: I love being a reply guy and in case he needs it in case his spirit is somehow out there attuned to every single word that I'm saying.

I love you, George, I love you so much
The thing about drugs, is that you can take them so you can avoid feelings, about your problems. But when the drugs stop changing you, your problems will still be there. As no matter how good, or how bad you feel...the feeling is going to go away. And you don't become a different person, just a different you.
Is it OK if something is only fun when you're on Drugs?

If you need to do drugs to enjoy something is it actually something you enjoy?

The anxiety of waiting is not continuously violent; it has its matte moments; I am waiting, and everything around my waiting is stricken with unreality: in this cafe, I look at the others who come in, chat, joke, read calmly: they are not waiting."

"'Am I in love? -- Yes, since I'm waiting.' The other never waits."
We can't change who we are! Only our reactions to things.
i just don't even know what anyone is ever talking about. Like with all these TV shows. And I just don't have time, to read (well I do). The problem is I don't even think I like reading, sitting around watching or listening or attending all feels so reading a textbook...having to memorize why someone wanted to assassinate Otto von Bismarck...anyway...I wanna feel like I'm part of what's going on. How do people know all these movie quotes? When did everyone learn these song lyrics? I go to look things up but what does one search for? I'm so out of the loop...and I'm so...dehydrated...
Here. have a glass of water.
simultaneous full drink of large water bottle, and then drool.
i would just like to say that the only thing i like more than having nothing to do is having something to do.
Clear and clean the stage.
okay im sorry but i need all of you to calm the fuck down about poppers like yeah they're okay but honestly like they are not the cultural touchstone that you guys think it is but ya'll aint ready for that conversation and i swear to god if i have to see one more shitty gay piece of art whether it's a sculpture or a painting or a play about poppers being the glue that holds the gay community together im just gonna lose my shit im just gonna lose it!
coco peru at a farmer's market.
At climax, Cosi knocks the platter and scurries to the floor, sampling + discarding the marshmallows we have any snacks?
You don't have one.
[when my high school guidance counselor said you'll never make it as a celebrity dramaturg with grades like these]. i felt that right here. but now i don't feel torn up about it at all. in fact i can tell you more about what i am not right now than what i am.
i am not broken. i don't feel lost. i am not hungry.
[robot deadpan]: hello honey i missed you
May I say something possible controversial: poppers are no substitute for preparation, practice, or personality.
Excuse me! We still haven't found a place to eat.
Nothing, that's the point. Here: I'll show you
What do you think enlightenment will allow you to achieve?
I know just the place!
dance apart and then together <3
Pause. Get + eat apples.
Travis flexing and ass-posing
when i'm cleaning i need to see the DIRT on the RAG. colors changing. EVIDENCE OF THE EFFORT.
You know the one thing you can't buy [on Amazon dot com]? Gratitude
And it's like as soon as you say "let's take a break" it's like, you're breaking up. But NO, that's not what I'm talking about!!!
It appears my one-time admirer is not planning some grand romantic gesture after all *laughs* you know what? It's his loss. It's his loss! It's HIS LOSS!
With a puppet, behind Cosi
I miss you baby I just want cuddles
LQ16: Grid off / Clamp lights on
LQ17: Full wash
Clamp light off
All the single-lingles
No! I'll be dining alone!
Travis walk down and turn to Cosi
Travis turn away
You always fuck this part up!
"she wont listen to you...this is the way it's been since she started smoking pot"
i don’t want to go to grad school i want to lose twenty pounds.

i don't think you need to gain any knowledge, or lose any weight. you're perfect, the way you are.

thanks bestie.
i don't need to hear your compliments, because i already know how you feel.
choreo below, into pillowfight halfway through
"Going to cum 18 times and spend my entire tax return on beautiful garments and ignore the fact that I’m addicted to pleasure in all forms and go to bed and dream that everyone is trying to kill me"
- kenzy peach
saran wrap on faces
becoming or being beautiful is EASY.

to have a perfect smile, control your face and mouth in a way to look, beautiful. it takes only practice.

makeup is the practice of highlighting your best features, and diminishing your worst. everyone can be beautiful with makeup.

watch, as i transform this flop, into a star.
Every day until I DIE

Ive wanted so many things so badly and then gotten them and didn’t want them.
I was addicted to wanting.

Cancer death disease, old.
wedding dress
Mopping/cleaning sequence
shower sequence maybe
a little parody of two people at a sleepover talking in the dark

" ever think about...what's out there?"
fidget toys
bubble wrap
we could do an entire section on fidgeting
buying something and having to wait to use it
charge overnight
downloading something and having to wait
having to read the instructions
orienting your happiness around purchase of a product and having it be stymied by not having all the materials
the movie isn't out yet
the album isn't out yet
the tickets aren't on sale yet
the tickets are about to sell out
the tickets are sold out
dustbuster dance
- kill bill
- boogeyman (or another reza abdoh show)
Emu's Pink Windmill Kids

What other messes do we want to make
-silly string
-soil, dirt
-shaving cream
-shredded paper
-feathers PILLOW FIGHT
-flowers, flower petals
- open a can of seltzer
Back in my day, the TV only had three channels: we didn't have Netflix, Hulu, HBOMax, or even Peacock! Back in my day, we didn't have to stand around for our driver to arrive, we stuck out our arm and BANG there was a car! Back in my day
The Knife couples dance
Seminar: am I about to have a nervous breakdown?
pillow fight
pillow talk?
more like pillow LIES
Fitness-fanatic gf water-hater bf
when do you want this to arrive? next tuesday, that will be 30 thousand dollars.
Honestly I make six figures, no debt, I'm pretty kind to people, big uncut dick, moderately smart and funny, and i can cook really well. I'm not a complete troll but also not a great beauty. I'd say total package I'm a 6.5 maybe a 7 on a great hair day
The Perpetual Fear of Getting Fired
If only I was a CEO
I'm not thirsty for water, I don't know what it is
by the time you realize my worth, i’ll be boiling hot dogs for someone else
travis netherlands blowjob story.
Being prepared:
Always be prepared.
horny sounds.
waiting for package
Back in my day, you had to put a token in the shower so the water would get hot, the bus stops were on every block, getting a car home cost eleven dollars, and we didn't stream music, you got a cassette in the mail listened to it a few times, and sent it back when you were done in a little red box. And scuba diving was illegal!
Kids these days, don't even know candy at the bank.
Don't talk to me until I've had my morning piss and a big gulp of water. And don't even look at me unless I had a chance to have a swim in the lake or an ice cold shower, and listened to my morning news podcast! Deep meaningful connection that swims in the eyes of the former stranger who I've volunteered to share a little piece of my life with.
How did I live before I had a humidifier? And what was I thinking, going through life without a de-humidifier? Subject to the whims and shifts of cold or hot fronts in my own home?
cosi and travis shave one another.
my perfect day, starts like this
a typical fun day, starts like this:

i awake, when it's time

i roll around in bed.

i meditate

i make some pancakes
i eat

i do an activity

i eat

something spontaneous happens
The old me would never give you a chance, go on the subway without a book, appreciate jazz, look back (cause it's in the past), do it.
Being prepared:
Always be prepared
that’s not enough, that’s not enough likes
for a selfie of that caliber.
what is the point of instagram if people cannot appreciate what i think is the best selfie i have ever taken.

it snot that i need validation i just need people to appreciate how good of a selfie it is.

steps, points
it’s not every day…

i get to trim my fingernails
a large box appears at my doorstep
there are no emails in my inbox
you cross off each item on your todo list
you get to hop into a bed with freshly clean sheets
your government does what you think they should do
the new library opens up
your annoying neighbor with the two little kids moves away
you clean your AC filters, and it suddenly is like new
you’re prepared with the next bar of soap, before the current one becomes too small to use
you have no conflict
but it is every minute, every second, every beating butterfly wing, until i find out, and [fuck] you
but it is every season
you find yourself living in a box
but it is every slay
or wait yes it is
you remove your brain and suspend it in ice to get all the gunk out of the folds
you win, sometimes you win and sometimes you learn but in the end all we are is food for the bugs, in life, and in death.
well why not, why isn't it every day? tell me that!
you see yourself deepthroating a hot dog on Google streetview
your princess is in another castle
you see everything
you live to fight another day.
i wish i had permission (from myself) to say stupid things
- time, but no way to keep track of it
- places to go, but no where to be
- gifs saved on my computer, but not enough things to react to them with
when i got the thing that makes *the noise* it made the thing i was doing so much more fun. when it makes a sound, i love it more. i love the sound, the love, the relationship. all we feel is love when we are alive but we think it is something else and get sad about it. but it's all love, everything we feel in what we do and who we meet and the plants we see the plans we make. it's orbs and radiations of love and light and bright and yet here i am in this dark room with nothing to do but think about the impossibility of the synchronizing of our hearts because our hearts are individual and they can't speak. we speak.
why ouchie. how did that get up there? all the way up there. wow. i'm so proud of my self. i did that. all by myself. just me!
- find two traffic cones and bedazzle them
- find someone who could help
- find a music coach for clapping music
- get a GOOD fake cigarette
- get some nice pompoms
- fog machine
- laser machine
- pillows for fight?
- figure out actual and alternate dates
- write out the never going to happen messages
- return to that's amore prompts
- rewrite the what happens if i take... more than what i am supposed to?
- human-sized hamster wheel
- cakes we pop out of
- 20ft tall pyramid to scale
- t-shirt cannon
- water or slime balloons
- slime dump from the rafters
wait a minute, i'm over it. I'm not going to wait around for closure, I'm going to make my own closure!
legs up and going heehaw
there are times when i'm feeling really really down or ~horny~ and i know the only thing that's gonna make me feel better is if i take a picture of myself and i put on the internet. and if i can wait, the payoff will be *sensational*
Nobody gives a care about the fate of labor as long as they can get their instant gratification.
Don't make me wait to see you again, cancel your plans. MORE MORE MORE!
you know my friends, the triplets: chad, joe, reid connlley.
Doyaknowwhat fuck this...

I've wanted so many things so badly and then gotten them and didn’t want them.
i feel like this is everything i want <> this isn't doing much for me
you know it's just so funny because after you read the ethical slut and that other book on attachment theory you agreed that you were past this and were satisfied and yet it's sounding like to me that you have some other things that you need to work through and i don't think that any of this actually has to do with me and maybe ... WELL WHY DONT YOU SPEAK
ACK ACK aidhfsdligfjsdlifjsdlijg
Water balloon
I used to think I was the most self-conscious person in the world, then I met you!
Theme from "Nuns in Trouble"

It's not the vibe, stop!

I don't need it.

You could take this plant off the sidewalk now, or risk never having this opportunity again.
A woman was gossiping with a friend about a man she hardly knew. I know none of you have ever done this.
That night she had a dream.
A great hand appeared over her and pointed down at her.
She was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt.
The next day she went to confession.
She got the old parish priest, Father O'Rourke.
She told him the whole thing.
"Is gossiping a sin?" she asked the old man.
"Was that the hand of God Almighty pointing a finger at me?
"Should I be asking your absolution, Father?
"Tell me, have I done something wrong?"
"Yes. " Father O'Rourke answered her.
"Yes, you ignorant, badly brought up female.
"You have borne false witness against your neighbor.
"You have played fast and loose with his reputation,
"and you should be heartily ashamed!"
So the woman said she was sorry and asked for forgiveness.
"Not so fast," says O'Rourke.
"I want you to go home. Take a pillow up on your roof,
"cut it open with a knife, and return here to me. "
So the woman went home, took a pillow off her bed,
a knife from the drawer,
went up the fire escape to her roof and stabbed the pillow.
Then she went back to the old parish priest as instructed.
"Did you gut the pillow with a knife?" he says.
"Yes, Father. " "And what was the result?"
"Feathers," she said.
"Feathers," he repeated.
"Feathers everywhere, Father. "
"Now, I want you to go back
"and gather up every last feather that flew out on the wind. "
"Well, " she said, "it can't be done.
"I don't know where they went. The wind took them all over. "
"And that," said Father O'Rourke, "is gossip!"
Jia Tolentino had a quote in Trick Mirror about "the relief of forgoing choice altogether" which I liked.
flashing flashing lights strobes as cosi dances on stage and Travis leave to change costumes. or maybe pillow fight.
I give up! I give up! It's never going to happen. Nothing will change. No one knows the future. The past is behind us and here I am today, that's all the fucking matters!
I'm not going to have any fun anywhere if I don't turn off this damn noggin of mine! There's no thinking or seeing or focus unless *taps head* is set to zipped up! When I'm thinking, that's almost the best, even better is turning off all the thought. But my mind won't let me, cause it wants to stay alive, and I want to destroy it. And the funny thing is, I never asked to be born in the first place. So here I am! Stuck on earth with my fixations, trying as best I can to make this a better place. I wake up, fluff the pillows, spray some rosewater in the air, and read the news, because my life depends on it. And yours does too
- a car in the bike lane
- procrastination
- the expectation or optimism that things can be better*
- my compulsive habit to open up a new tab, look at the page, close the tab, and then open up the same page again.
- my delusion of talent
- my memory
- my imagination
- my spirit
- my understanding of cause and effect
- my object permanence
- my responses to other people’s expressions of emotion
my biggest enemy is
Hello my name is Cosi
And my name is Travis
I'm Cosi
I'm Travis
And my name is Cosi
Happy Friday, looking forward to finally meeting you!
Yeah, can we actually do like Tuesday?
No, I can't do Tuesday. How about Wednesday?
Actually, something came up, I can't do Wednesday anymore.
That's OK, are you free tonight?
No sorry, meant to contact you about Thursday?
I'll let you know!
So I guess tonight is no good for you?
I can't do Thursday either...
It sounds like you're REALLY busy, hit me up next time you're free
Listen, do you think this is meant to be?
I don't think so
it turns into a sob
Cosi runs to Travis and they embraces
What's the matter? What is it?
Travis does it back. They grab the phones
i have a lot of
I'm beginning to think that the government is behind all of the good things on this earth. And it's to force us to work, for invented signifiers, which we exchange for the things that they make, which keep us in line, so we can get the things we want, which they make, and keep us, from getting.
Pooping isn't supposed to be easy, or feel good, it's called the toil-et for a reason!
let's just say how we're feeling at the same time.
Abstract guitar improv?
- 04 Oct: script finalized (more or less)
- 22 Nov: big numbers choreographed
- 15 Dec: tech all figured out
- 03 Jan: show memorized
- 26 Jan: first performance
- 05 Feb: strike
Pull back the curtains
Alles dreht sich um Sex
Außer Sex, bei dem es um Essen geht.
Everything is about sex
Except sex, which is about food.
youseguys, i need to tell you about how easy it is, to buy things on the internet. things these days, are so much better than they were, when you had to wait for the commercial on the TV to tell you what number to call. i can order anything, all from one website. and it appears—through delivery—at my home. we live in a giant world, with pipes flowing and conveyor belts taking things away from us, bringing what we need right to us. all in exchange for a little bit of time to stay on top when it's coming, when it's going, what needs to go on the street and what bin to put it in.
a moth can't help being drawn to a flame, and i can't help being drawn to flowered fields where i run and twirl and giggle.
(ich kann nicht bekommen, was ich will)
I love to write things down,
and become unburdened with carrying in my head
a thought or fear
to look at it on the page and realize that
i didn't have a full grasp on something
but got caught thinking about a part
over and over and over
until i trapped it with ink and paper.
the trouble with compliments, is that they only last for so long. their protection wanes, and then you're back to wondering what is everyone thinking? did i do a good job? on a scale of one to five, one being bad and five being good.
sometimes when you’re looking you can’t see what’s right in front of you
I don't care what it takes, I want to be able to see the stars every night—IN NEW YORK CITY. Who is going to do something about this? And how hard could change be?
I don't know what a dollar's worth, but give me an hour and i can get you a very good poem!
The more I learn about the world the more I want to see it. Because if I haven't seen everything there is to see, then I would like to see it. Am I making sense?
i don't want to go anywhere i can't chew gum, and i don't want to do anything if i can't chew gum while i do it. it's gum! it's not just a bow on top of a present, it is the wrapping paper
I was preparing myself once for a normal day, doing normal things. i meditated, stretched my bones, and sat to pull some cards. and i get the devil card. my day, was exactly that.
when i got the thing that makes it go ~faster~ it made the thing i was doing, so much more fun. when it goes like that ~snap~ i love it more. i love the ease, the love, the relationship.
you ever sit in the park and peoplewatch? and then you realize you're witnessing someone get dumped? it's the most wonderful thing to watch. i feel awful when i make someone cry, but if i can watch someone else cry i will not pass up the opportunity.
you know for someone who reads so much. you’re a real fool
* after a long pause*'s okay to let the moment go a little bit longer
*sigh* i know, it's just...everything is so fleeting
*nods, places hand on shoulder*
that's why i'm always sayin stuff
cosimo potentially chews an entire yard of bubble tape and attempts to blow a bubble
to have everything all laid out. i don't care. the world is going to work it all out for me.
as fun as it is to feel like my brain is moving so fast i also think...wouldn't it be better if i could just sit and not have any thoughts in my head?
if i'm thinking about how good it wouldbe to not have thoughts..isn't that also a thought?
[insert something really dumb such as] why does it sting my eyes so much when i get sperm in them
okay first thing's first, i know i should be enjoying the moment but i have too many good ideas to ignore!
i can't enjoy unless i'm with others or have the potential to tell others,

why does anyone do anything unless just not to tell others about it.
the devil card is the card of addiction, unhealthy attachement, and your "shadow self" it usually comes up as a message to be mindful of your bad habits and it always comes up when I NEVER  WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY HABITS
that's JUST what someone on a bender would say!
Ruth Ozeki quote book of form and emptiness page 173-174
What I lack for in spelling, I make up for in everything else.
But it was too late, Cosimo had already projected an entire relationship timeline onto the banal interaction
I hope I don’t read too much into that!!
someone slumped over a table with a lit cigarette
This will solve your problems: it's a tiny index card, laminated, and it comes with a marker that wipes away with a wet rag. on the card, write down everything you need to do: to be happy or successful or both.
the burdensome loneliness of being iconic
Zerfasert vergnugen schwachem da pa windstill kindliche liebhaben. Alles kinde hut.
Duftenden gestorben tat gewandert lieblinge ihm tor schlupfte behaglich.
gibberish conversation.
Kleines braunen was und ordnung welchem ehe wei anderen.
moget kraft sagte leben gru gro als.
what is dance but a conversation between performers in a language only they understand
4:35 -- the end
Drugs are just condiments for life.
Travis picks up second traffic cone to reveal A PLANT :O
Das Sofortvergnügen (THE INSTANT PLEASURE) is a dance-theatre-spectacle about insatiable desires, [in]convenience, [im]patience, and the need to get things now. The show re-contexualizes memes, idioms, and a versatile artistic legacy to embrace contrasting ideas on contemporary queer existence in a capitalist society. The web-based script is a multimedia collage and experiment in de-centering dialogue as the foundation of performance created with an open source web design toolkit called HOTGLUE.